"cuz I'm a grown-up"

my dad didn't have to give reasons for the things he did - why should he have to answer to his offspring? - but, as many children are, i was inquisitive. and a control-freak. who, me? a control-freak? i know, this is very hard to believe.

padge's* answers varied depending on the context. some examples:

• "where are we going?" / "crazy, wanna come?"
• "what are you doing?" / "nunya" (short for nunya bizness)

... you get the idea.

for whatever reason, there's one that i've held onto in my adult life

"cuz i'm a grown-up." 

which, to me, now means 

"i've survived for multiple decades and i can do what i want" 

i have a few favorite situations for use of this phrase:

• eating chocolate cake for breakfast
• buying a new dress even though i already have a closet full
• having dessert before dinner

sometimes, like on mornings when i hear country songs about sweet little babies, i think that i really am a grown-up and i could handle things like, oh-i-don't-know, producing offspring of my own. but then i begin to second-guess my effectiveness at bearing and caring for a tiny human when i do something like, oh-i-don't-know, drinking until 1am on a wednesday night


just cuz i'm a grown-up

*sidenote: i call my father padge. i have since i was 13, when i started taking spanish and began incorporating the few words i knew into my daily speech. "madre" and "padre" got shortened to "madge" and "padge and for whatever reason, padge stuck. he loves it, seriously.