But, finally, I am writing an entry. I'm writing it from my phone so I can't guarantee how pretty it will be. And there's a baby sleeping on my chest so I can't guarantee how long it will be. But I'm writing it, so bear with me.
I swore I would update constantly, documenting every aspect of my daughter's life like I did my pregnancy. Then motherhood happened. Being a stay at home mom is hard, y'all. But I'll be damned if I didn't just have the best three months of my life.
Then reality set in. And on Monday, London started daycare and I went back to work. Hardest thing I've EVER done is leaving that precious baby with virtual strangers. I worked my ass off to grow that kid for nine months, and have worked my ass off to keep her growing for three months since she's been born, and now you just want me to ABANDON HER?!
But seriously, it gets easier. The emotional wounds start to scab over and you both start to adjust. And then, if you're a control freak like I am, it gets harder - when you realize you're not succeeding as a mom or a wife and your house is a wreck and you're not contributing at work and OH MY GOSH, MY LIFE IS IN SHAMBLES! The next thing you know, it's 1am and your husband is laying on the floor of the nursery while you feed the baby and google, "how young is too young to cry it out?"
I wrote on a friend's facebook wall, "Being a working mom sucks sometimes."
But then sometimes it doesn't. Like when you get a paycheck and you're able to buy your daughter diapers or occasionally even cute clothes, or when her doctors appointments and medicines are taken care of. Or when you go to pick her up from school and she gets a huge grin on her face. It sucks a little less then.
We are figuring it out, just like we are STILL figuring out how to parent this little nugget. And it'll continue to get easier. It has to, or else no one would do it - right?
The important thing is we survived the first week. Now, here are some gratuitous photos of the week that you've probably all seen on instagram. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You rock and look absolutely fabulous doing it! The only certain things in life are death and photos of London on Instagram.
ReplyDeleteI think you know my position on photos of London. Seriously, you've got a ridiculously good-looking kid there. And secondly, I'm so glad you're back to posting (even if it's just this once) because I have been looking at my Google Reader every day just waiting for a new post to go up. I can't imagine how hard it must be trying to juggle everything but I'm absolutely certain you're doing it with a good sense of humor, and I think that's what matters. Hope you keep posting because I love hearing your honest take on life as a new mom!
ReplyDeleteGreat welcome back blog!! London is soooo cute and you look great for just having a baby!!
ReplyDeleteShe is just darling, Aubrey!! I'm sure you will adjust and I'll be coming to you in a few years for advice! :)
ReplyDeleteLOVE it, I follow of course on IG but I still love hearing about how you are rolling through motherhood. You seem to get the swing of it and are doing fabulous at...and looking amazing (grrr I wish I could look so put together lol) I stalk this page so I read this as soon as you posted it but am just now getting a chance to comment cause even with a 7 yr old and 4 yr old I am still sidetracked. thank you for the quick update though :)
ReplyDeleteoh my goodness all of that hair!!! LOVE!! your birth story is SO very similar to mine.. crazy!! Even after I read it there were more similarities that I didn't post about (like the sex to induce labor- although in my case it worked!! It only took 30 mins for my water to break!!) I love all the details! Congrats!!
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