London Claire is Four Months Old

Age: four months and three days (see, I'm getting better!)
Height: 25.25 inches (84th %)
Weight: 15 lbs 6 oz (also 84th %)
Hair Color: brown / red in the right light, and falling out quickly :( I picked whole clumps out of her crib this morning, it is heart breaking. her head is in the 89th % and her hair can't keep up!
Eye Color: blue - beautiful blue!

Favorite Outfit: she wore a sweatsuit to the fair last weekend. babies in hoodies, is there anything cuter?

how adorable is that hat?!

but i also really loved when she wore her zebra legwarmers for the first time. so edgy!

onesie from her godmother, "aunt kiki"

Sleep: well ... it's a lot of "one step forward, two steps back" these days. every time i feel like we're making progress for a couple of days, she'll revert. and nothing seems to work for the 4-7am hours. we practiced a 7-10-2 schedule (modified based on what time she went to bed), which basically means I'm dream feeding her right before I go to sleep. it helps some, or at least it did for the first few days, and the pediatrician recommends the dream feed to keep her sleeping longer. however, she told us that we're never going to get her sleeping more until she learns to self-soothe. if you don't know what that means, it's three wretched little letters ... C-I-O. Cry it out. I tried last week while Ben was traveling for work, and she screamed for an hour before I gave up. we tried that twice, and I decided she wasn't ready. Dr. Seidel said she is ready, and that if we want her to sleep, we have to commit. so last night, we committed... sort-of. after three hours, I gave up (can you tell who the "good cop" is in this situation?) and went in to nurse her. but we did not go in for the rest of the night (3-7) and she was able to get herself back to sleep pretty quickly at 5 and 6. maybe this is progress? we'll try it again tonight. one thing I do know, CIO is probably the most controversial baby issue - even more so than breastfeeding. everyone has an opinion but here's the thing - if you're not in support of it, i don't need to hear your's.
Eating: we have upped the bottles to 6oz (4x / day, though she doesn't always eat all four at daycare). we are cluster feeding in the evenings to stock up for bed, but I've broken her of the nursing to sleep which is a huge success in my book. and then the dream feed at 11ish. middle of the night - TBD (normally I've been nursing her twice), then she eats when she wakes up and tops off when I drop her off at school. Dr. Seidel gave us the go-ahead to start foods but recommended we wait until her sleeping is more consistent so as to know if something is affecting her tummy. i gave her a tiny taste of ice cream with a spoon and she enjoyed it, and did pretty well, so I think starting foods is going to be fun.
Illness: we are both still taking the probiotics and that seems to have helped with her gas, but we are still getting the occasional green / sour smelling diaper. gross, i know. she now has ridiculous diaper rash, a rash under her neck from all the drooling, and thrush. awesome, mother of the year right here. so we have her on antibiotics for the thrush and hoping it clears up within a week. and i think we'll start pulling her off the zantac once her sleeping is more consistent as well, which is great news!
Development: she loves to stand - prefers it to anything else. and she'll even "walk" her feet if we're holding her hands. she can stand up for a few seconds leaning against the couch or her crib, which is impressive to me. she can sit in the recliner in her nursery pretty well. she mimics sounds like "hi" and "i love you" with her intonation and such, which is adorable.

oh me? just standing around, nbd.

Movement: she's still trying to do "crunches" where she pulls her head up if she's reclining in any way. she rolls over frequently from belly to back, but hasn't mastered back to belly yet (which the dr said is ok). no crawling, but she'll scoot herself around in circles.

Favorite toy: her small sheep that my mom got her. it's supposed to be a scentsy sheep but we took the fragrance out. it's just small enough for her to cuddle with it so i give it to her in her crib and on the changing pad to help calm her in the mornings and evenings. she's also starting to like her rubber ducky in the bath, and still enjoys the bouncy seat and exersaucer.

snuggling with her little lamb

Funniest habit: she has discovered her voice and loves to shriek loudly as part of conversation. this makes her laugh, which of course makes us laugh. she also has a variety of cries, one of which is like she is yelling at us and sounds so angry, and another is a blood curdling horror movie scream. i feel bad when we laugh at her but ... not that bad.

Best moment of last week: she was facetiming with my mom and waved goodbye. twice. genius baby! and when i show her pictures on the phone, she swipes at them. and she hung up on ben's mom twice. the fact that our four month old is so tech-savvy probably speaks to the fact that a) she's brilliant and b) we're on our phones too much. and unrelated, but last night i put her down in her crib (we've been working on putting her down "drowsy but awake) and walked away - not a peep! she was restless for a few minutes but then went right to sleep with no crying. maybe it's because of the shots yesterday, but i'll take it. that was a pretty awesome moment considering it's something we've been working on for a few days.
What I'm looking forward to: taking her to florida next month for thanksgiving, where she'll get to meet lots of great aunts and uncles and second cousins and cousins once removed, etc. OH! and dressing her up for halloween. she's going to be ridiculously adorable ... IF she'll wear the hood.

And of course, I have to post a few favorites from her baptism. she was so good, all weekend, despite missing naps and being passed around to all sorts of new people. it was magical!

taking a little break from all the people

monogrammed bloomers to match her monogrammed bib

the bonnet was short-lived but oh! how cute 

London Claire's Baptism

This weekend, London Claire was baptized at our church. We had friends and family travel from all over the country to celebrate with us as we vowed to raise our little girl to know and love the Lord just as He knows and loves her. Moments like this Sunday morning remind me that she was His first, and He gave her to us. He picked her out just for us, and us for her, but we are just borrowing her. She is His forever. We all are, Amen?

My heart was so full as I watched London meet friends and family that are so dear to us. Her godfather from California, her great grandparents from Florida, her great aunt and uncle from Arizona - I know she won't remember meeting them, but from the looks on their faces, they will certainly remember meeting her. We were blessed to have both of my parents here from Virginia, L's godmother and her husband from South Carolina, her "god-grandparents" from Tennessee, plus a multitude of our close friends and family from here in the area. So blessed, y'all, so freakin' blessed.

I fought back tears throughout the ceremony.

That's a lie.

The truth is, I fought back tears for the past few weeks as I rocked / nursed my baby to sleep every night in her precious nursery, because I was staring at the beautiful christening gown my mother & I bought her before she was even born. I fought back tears as I dressed her in the delicate pearl bracelets and monogrammed bloomers and ruffly socks I had picked out just for her special day. I fought back tears as I slipped the delicate smocked gown over her perfect little head and tied the sweet matching bonnet under her double chin. So when the ceremony itself came, there was no more fighting them back.

The tears won. 

As I stood in front of the church we have come to love, looking into the pews to see our nearest and dearest, promising the minister to raise my little one as Christ would have us to ... there was no hope for me. It was so beautiful. I saw several of the women closest to my heart also tearing up, and I know it's because they have so much love for our precious girl and want the best for her just as we do, and want to teach her about the love of God by showing her first. I just can't describe that feeling, but I can say - gratefully and humbly - that Ben and I are unbelievably blessed.

So, if you were able to join us for any part of this weekend - physically, spiritually or emotionally, if you sent us well wishes through cards, gifts, facebook messages or texts, if you were lifting us up in prayer from around the country, I can only say thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Words could never be enough but please know that we are eternally grateful for the support you all have provided and will continue to provide on this precious journey.

Letters to London: Sleeping Beauty

Dear sweet baby,

Sleep is a hot commodity these days, so I feel like I should be taking advantage of every single minute you're actually asleep. I should be sleeping, myself - not writing this. And certainly not spending the extra 10 minutes (sometimes longer!) each night watching you sleep. But I can't help it.

You're just. so. perfect.

You're perfect all the time, at least your dad and I think so. But I tell you what, when you fall asleep in my arms - there is not a sight in this world more beautiful than that. It makes me fall in love with you all over again, every night.

Tonight, I kissed your sweet little mouth and you instantly sighed and fell into a heavy breathing, like you felt the love I have for you and knew all was right in the world. And the little sleep smiles I occasionally catch - ah! I die.

You know, now that I think about it, you're so precious when you sleep ... You should probably do it more. I could only imagine how beautiful you'd look sleeping 4 or 5 hours in a row ;)

I think I'll be using your video monitor until you go to college. I can't imagine ill ever get tired of watching you sleep. I never understood parents doing that, until now.

XOXO,
Your mama

PS: I wasn't joking about sleeping more. Please?

Better late than never

Do you feel like I post that a lot? Because I do. But it's true, it's better to post something 3.5 months after the fact than not at all ... right? Or maybe I'm the only one who feels that way.

So Emily Forsberg (the same dear friend who did our Christmas Card and Maternity photo shoots) gifted us a newborn photo shoot as a shower gift. As it turns out, London was not your typical "mold me, shape me, anyway you want me" type of newborn. She was more of the "the sun is too bright, this stupid lacy romper is hurting me, and oh yeah I just pooped" type of newborn. So we didn't get a ton of great shots, but Emily is so talented that she adapted to London's diva status and - to quote Tim Gunn - made it work.

Here are my favorites, and the ones I'm choosing from to get printed out for our house. Because my child is 3.5 months old and I don't have a single photo of her up in the house. Which, honestly, isn't that surprising considering we have been married five years this weekend and we don't have a single wedding photo up in the house. Good times.

even at one week old, loving the hands

you know she had to have a hair accessory

baby booty! don't mind the diaper rash, poor thing

why so serious?

sleeping beauty

she obviously has her daddy's skin tone

London Claire is Three Months

... or, she was. a week ago. whatever.

Age: three months (three months, six days today)
Height: about 24 inches (haven't checked recently)
Weight: as of 9-20-12, she weighs 13lbs 3 oz
Hair Color: still brown, though lighter than when she was born, and has a reddish tint to it
Eye Color: blue

Favorite Outfit: she wore "real" blue jeans for the first time last week, with a pink & white striped onesie - it was precious. I've been dying for her to wear this outfit and she looked like such a little girl (not a baby!), perfect for a fall school day.

watching daddy's soccer game

Sleep: she is back to doing a long stretch when we first put her down, anywhere from 4.5 - 6.5 hours (praise Jesus). bed time is anywhere between 8-9 and as much as we try to make wake-up time 7am, she rarely sleeps past 6:30. we did a little bit of sleep training, because we were having such a hard time after she started daycare with her getting up. all we did was - for about a week - only feed her at night every 3-4 hours. so if she woke up before it had been at least 3 hours, ben would go in a soothe her while she was still in her crib - rub her belly, give her a paci, etc. seems to have worked, or maybe it's the combination of her getting more to eat during the day and being worn out by daycare.
Eating: I started sending 4x 5oz bottles (instead of 4x 4oz) to daycare and she's been taking 3 of those a day. she normally wants to eat when we get home from school / work, nurses to sleep, up anywhere between 1-3am to eat, whenever she wakes up (in the 6am hour) and a little bit right when we drop her off at school. so she's averaging eating 7-8x each day, every 3ish hours (during the day).
Illness: she has her first stomach bug, according to the pediatrician, but her demeanor has not changed and she hasn't been running a fever, so I think we've gotten off pretty easy in terms of her first "illness".

at the dr's office - doesn't look sick to me!

Development: the teachers have started putting her in a baby einstein exersaucer and she LOVES it! she is supporting herself on her feet in that, and reaches out to play with the spinning toys. miss tracy is very impressed with her fine motor skills, and so was my mom - she said that I wasn't reaching / playing with toys like that until 4 months. she can sit up while propped against the couch and much prefers that to laying down, unless we're paying constant attention to her (such a diva!).

still a little unsure of herself sitting

Movement: I actually got to see her roll over (from belly to back) this morning, and I got so excited. she tries so hard to pull her head forward when she's in her car seat, bouncy seat or laying down.

Funniest habit: she gives kisses with her mouth wide open - as soon as one of us leans in and gets close to her mouth, her mouth is as big as it can be!

giving daddy kisses at brunch after church

Best moment of last week: I walked upstairs last night when Ben was getting her ready for her bath, and she was in hysterics at Ben because he was talking in a British accent. no matter how hard I try, I will never be as silly as daddy! it's a little voyeuristic, but I love watching them play together.

she loooooves bathtime now

What I'm looking forward to: her baptism (october 14) - I've been shopping nonstop on etsy and looking for ideas on pinterest. if you have any suggestions, send them our way.

this template is a work in progress, as I couldn't find one online that I liked. if you have suggestions of things I should add or things you'd like to know, please let me know!

oh, and I still haven't uploaded her three month photos, so here are some of my recent favorites. the three month photos will be coming in a separate post, hopefully soon.
 

lunch with the hughes' - evan gave london her first kiss

tailgating for the nc state game - too hot for clothes!

London Claire's first laugh

Any working mom knows - it's tough. You sometimes feel like you're not in control of any aspect of your life, and there are those days you just need a win.

I mean, I NEVER feel that way and I always have it together. But if I happened to have a day where I fell apart and that day happened to be today, there's probably only one thing that could make it all better.

This:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psdBDaihC2A&feature=youtube_gdata_player

She laughed for the first time. If that's not a win for the day, I don't know what is.

Finally

I am the worst {blog}mom ever.

But, finally, I am writing an entry. I'm writing it from my phone so I can't guarantee how pretty it will be. And there's a baby sleeping on my chest so I can't guarantee how long it will be. But I'm writing it, so bear with me.

I swore I would update constantly, documenting every aspect of my daughter's life like I did my pregnancy. Then motherhood happened. Being a stay at home mom is hard, y'all. But I'll be damned if I didn't just have the best three months of my life.

Then reality set in. And on Monday, London started daycare and I went back to work. Hardest thing I've EVER done is leaving that precious baby with virtual strangers. I worked my ass off to grow that kid for nine months, and have worked my ass off to keep her growing for three months since she's been born, and now you just want me to ABANDON HER?!

But seriously, it gets easier. The emotional wounds start to scab over and you both start to adjust. And then, if you're a control freak like I am, it gets harder - when you realize you're not succeeding as a mom or a wife and your house is a wreck and you're not contributing at work and OH MY GOSH, MY LIFE IS IN SHAMBLES! The next thing you know, it's 1am and your husband is laying on the floor of the nursery while you feed the baby and google, "how young is too young to cry it out?"

I wrote on a friend's facebook wall, "Being a working mom sucks sometimes."

But then sometimes it doesn't. Like when you get a paycheck and you're able to buy your daughter diapers or occasionally even cute clothes, or when her doctors appointments and medicines are taken care of. Or when you go to pick her up from school and she gets a huge grin on her face. It sucks a little less then.

We are figuring it out, just like we are STILL figuring out how to parent this little nugget. And it'll continue to get easier. It has to, or else no one would do it - right?

The important thing is we survived the first week. Now, here are some gratuitous photos of the week that you've probably all seen on instagram. Sorry I'm not sorry.