Monday, April 14, 2014

Eating for two

I'll admit it: although I am not, nor have I ever really been, 100% happy with my body - I honestly don't give it too much thought. I've never had to work out, eat what I want, and can always find clothes that fit (even if I'm not totally thrilled with what size). My height works to my advantage, so 5lbs here or there doesn't even register. I don't get on the scale at home, so pregnancy is the only time I am acutely aware of changes (read: increases) in my weight. And it. is. hard. 

I know I'm growing a human. I know the old adage "eating for two". I know the baby weight fell off after London was born, due largely to breastfeeding. But I can't help but freak out a little as the numbers on the scale continue to creep up. Maybe creep is not the right word ... JUMP might be more appropriate for the rate which they are climbing. 

They say no two pregnancies are the same, but as a second time mom, I expected to know what I was getting into. And gaining almost as much as I did during the whole 40 weeks with London, with 13 weeks to go, is not what I expected. Especially after starting out 10+ pounds lighter than I was when I got pregnant with L. Especially after an emergency room visit, a hyperemesis diagnosis, and a very concerned conversation with my obstetrician about my weight loss at my 16 week appointment. Not what I expected at all. But then again, I didn't expect the placenta previa thing either. This little boy is keeping me on my toes, that's for sure. 

I've learned, and it has become more apparent during this pregnancy, that I am an emotional eater. I eat when I'm upset, bored, sad, angry, not feeling well. Pretty much all the time. And while I'm not always making unhealthy choices (I've been drinking tons of water and eating lots of fruits and veggies this pregnancy, plus fixing plenty of healthy meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner - a luxury I didn't have with the last pregnancy), sweets are my weakness. So, if nothing else, I'm making a concession to this kid (and my doctor) and saying goodbye to my nightly bowl of ice cream. Not to say I won't still have some now & again, but three scoops a night is helping no one. 

Farewell dear friend, we had a good run. 

That, and I'm really hoping the placenta previa will be cleared at next week's ultrasound so I can at least walk or something for exercise. I mean, I've never exercised regularly before, but I'm sure I can figure it out, right?

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