Baby Betting and a Bonus (Pregnancy Confessions: Volume Eight)

If you know my husband, you will not be surprised to learn that he's set up a gambling opportunity surrounding our daughter's birth.

http://babybookie.com/pools/90-london-s-baby-pool

You can guess her birth date and time, weight (lbs and oz) and length.

Half the winnings go to you, half go to her college fund. So basically, if you don't make a guess, you're saying you don't want my kid to go to college - that's pretty messed up.

(kidding)

If you don't want to put in the $5, feel free to make your guesses here - just for fun. You won't win anything, except for my admiration (especially if you predict that she's going to come before her due date - mama's not trying to be pregnant all summer, ya' heard?).

OK, that's all.

No wait, I lied. I promised a Pregnancy Confession. So here it is:

30 weeks, before my shower in Virginia

My gift to you, for being a loyal reader: a little pregnancy secret I got from Trinity.

FAKE EYELASHES.

They help combat fat face in pregnancy photos. Especially during showers, when people take 10 million photos of you saying "aww!" at tiny baby socks or laughing at a card about how you're never sleeping again.

Shh, don't tell!

Pregnancy Confessions: Volume Seven

As most of you already know, I don't love being pregnant. The first trimester (literally, from the day I hit 5 weeks) I was vomiting and nauseous and felt like I had a 3 month hangover. The second trimester, admittedly, was "not that bad", once we got to the part of finding out what we were having, picking a name, decorating a nursery and feeling baby kicks. The third trimester is pretty much shit. Not as much shit as the first, but it's not a vast improvement either. I'm uncomfortable pretty much all of the time, I can't sleep through the night, 7.5 weeks seems like an eternity and not enough time all at once.

But I'll confess, there are some things I'm going to miss about being pregnant. A few things I would even say I really love (gasp!) about it. Here are some of my favorite pregnancy perks

• Feeling her kick. So long as it's not pressing her tiny feet against my ribs, or the hiccups for the fourth time that day, I love feeling her move. They're not even really kicks, because most of the time they're pretty gentle movements - she's a delicate little thing. I try to remember to do kick counts since she's not the most active baby, and I think it's awesome to sit in a meeting with my hands resting on my belly while my baby communicates with me in morse code. I think it's adorable to feel her stretch.
• Eating whatever I want, whenever I want. With the way I eat, I'm shocked that my weight gain has been quelled at 15 lbs so far. I had a mini cadbury cream egg at 9am on my way to work. I started to take a log of everything I ate in one day, and I was literally too embarrassed to ever post the blog. Ben has even had a few moments of really indulging me, whether driving to Bull McCabe's to get me fried fish or driving all the way to North Raleigh to try to find a Long John Silver.
• Classic Coca-Cola. I switched to diet soda years ago but aspartame can be absorbed through the placenta so I've avoided artificial sweeteners throughout the pregnancy. Oh my gosh y'all, when was the last time you had a real coke? I don't think I can go back to diet. Real coke is like heaven. Don't worry, I never have more than one a day (recommended daily max for pregnancy is 200mg of caffeine; a can of coke has 45mg) and I don't have it every day, but man-oh-man. They are awesome.
• Not sucking in my stomach, ever. For the first few weeks I did, especially when I felt like I was starting to show (I wasn't) and wasn't ready to tell people. However, from the time we announced the pregnancy, I have not once tried to hold in my belly. Even when I put on a bikini on our mountain vacay a few months ago. Doesn't matter how much I eat, I just let it hang and everyone thinks it's cute (or at least says they do). This probably means my abs have disappeared, but let's be honest, they weren't that great to start with.
• An excuse to do only what I feel like doing. Don't get me wrong, I don't abuse my pregnancy perks. I save these times for when I really need them. But when I'm just too exhausted to get off the couch and fold the laundry, or when I wake up at 10 and decide that Benji & I need more sleep so we skip church, I don't feel guilty about it. And when I want to leave a party (whether it's 11pm or 2am), I decide that it's time to go and we go home. And y'all? I haven't vacuumed since before Christmas! God bless my sweet husband and our God-send of a cleaning lady.

I'm sure there are more benefits that I'm going to miss, but sometimes, when you're flushed and slightly feverish from a TDaP vaccine and the baby is pressing her tiny bony feet into your ribs in an attempt to collapse your lungs, you just can't think of any more pregnancy perks. 

32 Weeks!

1. How far along?: 32 weeks 2 days - Dr. Campbell informed us on Tuesday that I'm 80% done!
2. How big is baby?: According to What to Expect, she is the size of a honeydew - how cute! She is about 19 inches long and weighs about 4.5 lbs. Putting on that weight fast, cuz she knows her mama wants chubby cheeks to kiss on.

   

   I think she is a bigger honeydew than that...
   Judging by the fact that I feel feet in my ribs,
   While feeling arms flailing down in my hoohah.
3. Weight gain?: 15 lbs - looks like I've gotten into the pound-a-week routine.
4. Stretch marks?: Still none!
5. Maternity clothes?: Still mixing them in with my regular clothes. Today, for example, I have nothing on that's "maternity" ... but it was SO HARD to buckle my sandals. Expect to see a lot of flip flops, y'all.
6. Sleep?: I actually overslept for the first time in I-don't-know-long this morning. I woke up around 7 like I normally do but I guess I managed to fall back asleep and either shut off the alarm or didn't turn it on, because Ben woke me up at 8:08 asking what time I was planning to get up for work. Oops! Guess my body was more exhausted than I thought, from all the interrupted sleep over the past few weeks.
7. Best moment last week?: I love our biweekly check-ups, just to know that she's doing ok (and so am I). Best moment, though, was probably getting her dresser in, making up the crib, doing a bunch of stuff in the room so it actually looks like a nursery now!

   

   The sweetest crib ever (I'm partial, of course)

8. Food cravings?: Still fried fish (hoping to indulge that today when we have lunch with Whitney!). I woke up a few mornings ago thinking about a fountain cherry coke but haven't indulged that one yet.
9. Symptoms?: The rib pain / pressure has continued, and now extends to my mid / upper back. Sometimes it feels like I can't breathe! 
10. Exercise?: Yoga-ing once a week. There's two girls in the class who were in the last session with me, both due June 2, so I'm no longer the furthest along.
11. Movement?: She had the hiccups four times yesterday. FOUR! WTF, kid? Her movement in general has become less frequent, which makes it hard for me to do my kick counts. But her heart rate was in the 150s on Tuesday so I'm not too worried about her.
12. Belly button?: This is just a sad state of affairs. I'm not sure how much longer it can hold itself in.
13. What I miss?: Being able to bend over to buckle my shoes. 
14. Labor signs?: She is head-down! I know she can still flip, but since she's been head-down since 17 weeks, I'm not too worried about a breach baby.
15. What I'm looking forward to?: Our co-ed shower this weekend! Hosted by our sisters and Ben's mom. Should be such a fun time to hang out with some friends we haven't seen in awhile. Praying the rain stays away and the weather could warm up just a tad!

Don't worry, I put a shirt on over top of this.
If you look closely, you can see a red mark on my arm.
That's from the TDAP vaccine I got on Tuesday - ouch!
This kid is lucky I love her so much.

Letters to London: Volume Three

My Sweet L,

From the moment a second line appeared on that stick, my heart has ached for you. My mind has been completely consumed with you. I've spent, to date, 196 days waiting for the one when we get to meet you.  Daydreaming about the possibilities of the wondrous things you're going to become and accomplish. Obsessing over the color of your nursery and which bottles you'll like best and what your wedding dress will look like...

...Worrying sick about all the things that could go wrong before you even enter this earth.

I have been so blessed to share this journey with my dear friend Sarah, who is due with a little boy just a few days before my due date. I remember expressing one of the many, many fears that overcame me in those early weeks of pregnancy and she repeated what her mom had told her...

"Welcome to motherhood"

It's true. You're not even here yet and I know in my heart of hearts that I will never. stop. worrying. It has gotten easier, but I haven't stopped worrying and I won't. Becoming a mother is accompanied by fear like I have never known. Fear that I might lose this precious life inside me before I've ever had a chance to know her.

My friend Sarah also gave me some wonderful advice as we journeyed through our first trimester together, especially these rough first few weeks.

"Whenever I start to worry, I stop everything I'm doing and pray"


Oh London! The sweet gift of prayer that you've brought back into your mother's life. I could never express my gratitude for what you have done for my relationship with Our Heavenly Father. I have prayed and prayed over you! And the thing I have learned above all else in this journey is that the creation of life is nothing short of a miracle.

...

When Dr. Campbell called me at work on Tuesday October 10 and told me my test results were positive, I literally had to stop and think about what test he could be referring to. Then I heard some of the sweetest and most terrifying words of my life "You're Pregnant" and my mind began to race. It may be another ectopic pregnancy, he said, your levels are very low... blood work, ultrasound, numbers and medical jargon flooding my head. But God had other plans for you! Each blood test came back better than the last, and then it was time for our first ultrasound, which didn't show a heartbeat. I held my breath for a week (A WEEK!) until our next ultrasound, and I couldn't even look at the screen until I heard Dr. Campbell point out a tiny blinking circle as your heartbeat. A heartbeat?! It has a heartbeat?! The sigh of relief was momentary, as we knew we weren't out of the woods by any stretch of the imagination.

On November 20 (my 27th birthday), my heart sunk when I saw substantial bleeding. I prayed and prayed, begging God for a miracle for the two days until we were able to see the doctor, and asked your dad to pray one last time in the waiting room. Then we saw your healthy tiny body on an ultrasound, and you even waved at us! If that isn't the true meaning of tears of joy, I don't know what is. 

We made it through our 12 week nuchal scan, 18 week level two scan, and even a fetal echocardiogram with flying colors. And here we are, just 8 weeks (give or take a few) from the day we get to meet you with absolutely no medical reason to worry. What a miracle, indeed!

...

You Are A Miracle. 

Please don't ever forget that, my darling girl. There are so many things that had to happen exactly in His perfect plan for you to come to be. I may not ever understand the journey the Lord took us on to get here, but I don't mind, because it has led us to YOU! And Praise God, you're already perfect. Yes you, who will someday have braces and glasses and maybe be pigeon toed or have a broken wrist.

You're perfect. 

He has made you the perfect child for me and your daddy, and I cannot wait until you get here.

Love, Mama

Letters to London: Volume Two

London Claire,
Growing up as a young lady in The South is a great blessing, but one that carries a heavy burden. Although your mama did not have this privilege (Virginia may be below the Mason-Dixon line, but no one ever accused people from NoVa as being "southern"), I have learned a thing or two about what it means to be from The South in the nearly-ten-years I've spent living here (4 in Tennessee, 6 in North Carolina). And despite your daddy's best intentions, you will be a southern lady. There are more than a few things you will learn about growing up in God's country, but these are some of my favorites.

Mind Your Manners
You should always always say please, thank you, ma'am and sir. I am 27 years old and I still say "yes ma'am" to people who very well may be younger than I am. "Please" and "Thank You" are not magic words that get you what you want - they are common courtesy and can never be over-used. While I'm thinking about it, don't underestimate the value of a good apology or adding the qualifier "so much". A genuine "Thank You So Much!" can mean a lot to the person hearing it if it means a lot to the person saying it. I also want to say here that your mama never attended cotillion (although I did have a brief etiquette class the year I did Girl Scouts), but my parents taught us table manners and your daddy and I will do the same for you. You eat what is put in front of you, or you go to bed hungry. You speak when spoken to and do not interrupt if other people (including your parents) are talking. You get no dessert if you have not finished your dinner. These might sound harsh, but that's the way I grew up and I turned out just fine. We'll do our part and make sure you never go hungry (and if I know your father, he'll do your part to make sure you never miss out on dessert).

Act - and Dress - Your Age
Little girls deserve to have fun and be little girls. I don't care if your idea of fun is making daisy chains with your girlfriends under a big tree (your mama and your Aunt Sissy did that all the time!), or if it's playing in the mud with a big tonka truck - you get to be you. But you don't get to start wearing eyeliner at age nine, and you don't get to throw a temper tantrum at that age either. I experienced first-hand how quickly little girls grow up nowadays and I do not want that for you, sweet baby. I led a bit of a sheltered childhood, which I now see as a blessing, that included only listening to Christian music or oldies, not eating fast food or drinking soda, and wearing overalls until I was a teenager (you might not be able to avoid this one - your GrandPadge loves to buy his girls some Osh Kosh B'Gosh Overalls - you already have a pair waiting in your closet!). There are so many precious memories I have from my childhood, especially growing up with lot of kids around at all times, and it was largely because I was allowed to just be a kid. A well-behaved kid, all the same, but I was a little girl and was not expected (or allowed) to be a big girl too soon.


Thank You Notes
As I said earlier, don't underestimate the value of a good apology OR a genuine Thank You. If someone invites you over for dinner, you write them a thank you note. If someone has you as an overnight guest, you get them a hostess gift AND write them a thank you note. And if, some day, you're blessed with a child of your own and your sweet mama and Aunt Kiki host you a baby shower with friends and family you've known for years, and that baby gets spoiled with the cutest clothes you've ever seen, you BETTER write them all thank you notes, or your mama will kick your butt. There is something to be said for monogrammed cards - don't worry, you already have some. And while I may have missed a thank-you-note-opportunity now and again, I really do try to make this a priority. Your Aunt Kiki does a great job of it, as does your cousin April. Their mamas taught them well. Who doesn't love getting a note in the mail, especially on beautiful stationary?!


The Bigger the Bow, The Better the Mama
Your closet is currently full of about 15 wicker baskets, one of which is especially dedicated to hair bows and head bands. Everyone who knows me knows that these are a necessity. While I have tried and tried to resist buying you tons of clothes and accessories (all our sweet friends & family have done plenty of that - especially your Gigi!), I did breakdown and  buy two gorgeous handmade bows and a hat with a huge flower. You might look back at your baby pictures and think that you look ridiculous with bows and flowers as big as your head, but trust me, it's because I love you. And you might as well learn to love it now, because they're not going anywhere. I've yet to determine if I'm going to let you cheer or not (that's another blog for another day), but if I do - and if you want to - the bows are only getting bigger, little one.

London, I think the most important thing to remember about being a good southern girl is that it's never too late to become one. It's a way of life that you can choose to adopt anytime you want, but you're so blessed to grow up this way. Southern girls love monograms, college football, tervis tumblers and casseroles. We love shopping, manicured nails, a cold beer on a patio and a handsome man in a collared shirt. Sometimes being a southern girl is being able to hold your whiskey and sometimes it's a well-made guest bed. It's acceptance, it's being gracious, it's a few "bless her heart"s and it's being a daddy's girl. This might sound like a lot of pressure, but trust me when I tell you, it's a lot more pressure for me to raise you right. I promise to do my best but I hope that someday, when you realize that maybe I made some mistakes or wish I had done a few things differently, you'll know that everything I did was because I love you and I want you to be proud of the woman you're going to become ... even if that means moving to New York someday.

XOXO,
Your Mama

31 weeks

1. How far along?: 31 weeks 2 days - and exactly 2 months from our due date. What the WHAT?
2. How big is baby?: According to What to Expect, she is still the size of a head of lettuce - boring! She is about 19 inches long now and should weigh 3lbs 9oz. Very quickly approaching the 4 lb mark, how awesome is that?
   
3. Weight gain?: I haven't stepped on the scale at home since my last dr appt, so we'll say I'm still at 13 lbs. Updates next week (we have an appt on Tuesday)
4. Stretch marks?: Still none! Please oh please let me be out of the danger zone.
5. Maternity clothes?: Currently wearing a new-to-me Boden dress from Sloan. It's amazing I still have so many things she passed along that I haven't even worn yet. 
6. Sleep?: Meh, getting better I guess. I almost always wake up before my alarm - often times very early in the morning for no reason at all. But it could be worse!
7. Best moment last week?: THE DRESSER CAME IN! Ben is going to pick it up this weekend, I'm SO beyond excited. And my wonderful baby shower in Virginia hosted by my mom & her best friend. It was so sweet and L got tons more cute clothes. I got a huge box of "necessities" in the mail from one of my old sales reps - what a blessing! This isn't really a "best moment" but we did start baby classes this week, which is weird. Weird and scary.
8. Food cravings?: Nothing really specific! I'm actually not wanted to make decisions about food these days - weird, right?
9. Symptoms?: My nipples are huge. Seriously huge. The biggest things I've ever seen. Sorry. Also, so much rib pain / discomfort. Dear London, please please PLEASE stop pressing your feet into my ribs. Please?
10. Exercise?: Started back in yoga last night, and man! I missed it. I neeeeeeed the yoga back in my life. Hoping this class will lead me right up to when she decides to make her appearance (it ends the first week of June I think. Yes, I am open to having her come a little bit early - any time in June is fine with me!)
11. Movement?: Still getting the hiccups a ton. And the rib pressure. But I feel like her head is still low and that it's feet / butt in my ribs, not her arms or head. Not sure when they start checking her position ...
12. Belly button?: Still in!
13. What I miss?: Just relaxing on the couch was uncomfortable last night. And shaving my legs this morning was a real struggle. I miss having a normal person's body that doesn't have an alien inside of it. But I do love that little alien.
14. Labor signs?: None yet.
15. What I'm looking forward to?: Bringing the dresser home this weekend and filling it with all of her goodness!!

Letters to London: Volume One

I wrote this post yesterday, but then this happened last night and (inspired by my friend Kelsey), I had to share:

Now then, back to the original post...

I have seen lots of people write letters to their unborn children (Page over at It's Marvelous being one of my favorites), and I've really wanted to do it but was waiting for the right time to start. 30 weeks seems like a good landmark to me ... it'll force me to really put my thoughts down and capture the feelings of these last few months before she's here. But, given the pregnant brain / chaos at work / chaos of preparing for her arrival, it's likely going to be stream of consciousness and may not be anything you want to read. That's ok, at least I have it.

Also, secret's out, her name is London. I haven't announced that yet, have I?

London Claire Eckerson

What better place to start these letters than the story of her name. To be honest, I'm not sure there are three words I enjoy writing more. But let me start from the beginning.

London,
Before we even thought about trying to have a baby, I had a long list of names I loved (most girls do, don't let them tell you otherwise). You probably will too, and that's totally normal. It will change as you get older or as certain things become inspirations to you, and that's normal too. As a couple, your dad and I had very little commentary about names we liked, so I was nervous that our tastes would be totally different (they were!) and we'd never agree on something.

We didn't discuss names with the first pregnancy - honestly, we didn't discuss much of anything, everything happened so quickly. But with you, sometime in the first trimester, I got the urge to start talking about it. Your dad kept saying no, it wasn't time, we couldn't get ahead of ourselves, let's find out the gender first, etc. Finally, after what felt like ages (but really was only about 6 weeks after we found out I was pregnant with you), your dad gave me the sweetest birthday gift - we could spend the day talking about what to name you. So we went to a sports bar around the corner, he ordered a pitcher of beer (and a water for me, of course) and we went through the list, narrowing down to about 25 options. Still overwhelming, but it was progress!

We agreed that we wouldn't talk about it again until our gender ultrasound, which was scheduled for the middle of January. We took the day off work, had our appointment first thing in the morning, and planned to spend the rest of the day doing all the things we hadn't let ourselves do - go shopping for you, buy you clothes, pick your name. Those things were physical manifestations of the fact that we were about to have a child, and we could finally let ourselves accept and get excited about that! As soon as I found out I was having a daughter (an emotional moment, as you saw in the video!), I was ready to give you a name, an identity. You weren't just a baby anymore - you were our baby, our girl. You needed a name.

We spent the next few hours running through our list and before I knew it, we had it narrowed down to about five choices - London being one of them and your dad's favorite. We weighed the pros and cons, and your dad brought up the point that we would be taking you to London just a few weeks after you were born, and if there were ever a time to use the name it was now. It wasn't just a perfect name, it was perfect for YOU! He was right, your name would be London. I never imagined having a daughter named London but from that moment on, it seemed to make perfect sense, and we both couldn't stop saying it.

Your middle name was my decision - your dad seems to think that middle names don't matter (he forgets that you will be raised in the south, where middle names are pretty much just an extension of your first name). As we drove around the next morning (shopping for you, of course), I kept saying aloud the various combinations we were considering, but London Claire just fit. It's feminine - just soft enough - it's classy and it's unique all at the same time ... all things we knew you'd be! So within 24 hours of when we found out we were expecting a sweet baby girl, it was decided - London Claire Eckerson would be your name, and we both couldn't have been more thrilled about it.

London has a few different meanings, but the one we found that day (and the one that's our favorite) is Wild. Combine it with Claire, meaning Clear - Wild & Clear. Let your name be a constant reminder of who you were destined to be. Others may not know where you're going, but you always will. Sometimes you'll march to the beat of your own drum, but you'll always know exactly who you are. Your personality may be wild, but you'll always have a true sense of clarity about the things that matter most - Your God and Your Family. You're going to be incredible - you already are, honestly, and you're not even here yet.

I cannot wait to meet you London,
Your Mom