Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Pregnancy Confessions: Volume Five

I need to preface this by saying I started it a week ago, and am now coming back in a calmer, clearer, less hormonal state of mind. So it might be slightly watered down from its original form, but the sentiment is the same. And I think the sentiment, in general, could best be described with this:
I need to get this off my chest. And dammit, it's my blog, so I'm going to. And if you're offended, tough luck, don't read it. And if you make a comment on this post  that I don't like, I might just delete it. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT KIND OF MOOD I'M IN!

By the way, I do not need you to remind me that I'm only feeling this way because of the unGodly amount of hormones coursing through my body. I'm well-aware the effects that pregnancy is having on every. single. aspect. of my life.

Maybe this isn't so much a confession as it is a rant. But if I start a blog series of pregnancy rants, I might come across bitchy and unreasonable, which is not the sweet, life-supporting vision that people like to have in their mind of pregnant women. So I'm going to keep calling it a confession, because I'm confessing that I'm just about fed up.

What am I fed up with, you may ask? Oh, you must not have seen my Facebook or Twitter posts recently. That's ok, here's the abridged version:

Ben & I are going to the mountains of MD with my cousins and some of their friends next weekend, a trip we planned before we knew I was pregnant. The weekend will include skiing and/or snowboarding, drinking, eating, hot tubbing, spa visits, and who knows what else ... or any combination thereof, for any given attendee. We have a few unexpected openings in the house and my cousin asked me to see if any of our friends were interested, so I posted it on facebook.

big. freakin. mistake.

Within an hour, there were ten comments nay-saying questioning my ability to do any of the aforementioned activities. I know these comments are made by friends and family members who love me and are concerned for my well-being and that of the baby - I get it, I do. But here's how it comes across, at first glance, to a hormonal mom-to-be: you're insinuating that I don't know what I can and cannot do, just because I'm a first-time mom, and you're questioning my judgement or ability to research the exact same articles you've found, and you're basically telling me that I have no clue what I'm doing. That's how it comes across, that's all I'm saying.


Now then (and this is from the clearer, calmer, less hormonal part of me, a later addition to the earlier-written original post), I really do know that people are just trying to help. I know there is nothing malicious in their intent and that similar advice (whatever was the medical / social standard at the time) was given to them during their pregnancy. I appreciate most of the advice and try to graciously listen to all of it and decide later what I will and will not put to use. I'm not trying to berate anyone or make them feel bad about the things they've said / continue to say to me. All I'm saying is that sometimes, it gets to be a little bit much. I guess this whole post is a confession after all, because here's the thing:

I don't know what I'm doing. 

I research, I ask questions, I call my doctor's office, I read blogs and forums. But I have to figure it out on my own, just like every other first time mom did. I have to figure out what works for me during my pregnancy, and what works for us as a family once she's here. So I'm really trying not to get upset about it, and I'm trying to learn how to appropriately respond. But as much as I have to bear with all the people who feel the need to force feed me unsolicited advice about every topic under the sun, you'll have to bear with me while I find my balance. And for those of you who can do that, I genuinely appreciate you.

And in case you're wondering, you can give me whatever advice you want if you start with telling me how great I look :) Pregnant women eat that shit up.


  1. I KNEW this blog was coming LOL I really wish I could tell ya that it stops once Baby L gets here but there will ALWAYS be someone who has the best of intentions most of the time in their advice. It will just rub you the wrong way. For my part...if I ever annoy you just let me know, I have no problem shutting up and I know I can be pushy so by all means you can unleash a lil hormonal STFU my way if need be haha.

    1. Kat.Sandvik - This Grateful GiGi/Mama APPRECIATES the friend that you are to my darling Aubrey! Thank you!!!!

  2. I love your post. I feel the same way as you do most days. People can shove it! Is there anyway to get the onsie in your picture? I have to have it.

    1. Thanks for the response! Here is a link to purchase the onesie:
      Glad to know I'm not alone!

  3. You get pregnant and all of a sudden people think you've lost your ability to think critically and make sensible decisions!
    It's like people think you're the baby, not what's inside you!
    A completely warranted STFU may seem harsh, but sometimes it's the only way to handle repeat offenders.

    But I think you've unwittingly hit the nail on the head. It's not that we're opposed to seeking advice. It's the unsolicited advice that is hard to handle!

    Keep plugging chook. It's ok to feel like you want to punch people in the face sometimes! I do!

    1. YOU hit the nail on the head with "people think you're the baby" - that's totally how I feel. glad to know I'm not alone