London Claire is 1 Week Old

I used to get so antsy for the bloggers I follow to post their birth stories, and I didn't understand why it took them so long - weeks, sometimes! It's just writing a blog, how hard can it be?! Answer: hard. Hard to take the time away from your precious newborn, knowing you might miss a moment that could never be recreated. Hard to not use any time they're sleeping to sleep yourself, or eat, or maybe even take a shower. I posted my delayed 40 week update yesterday, most of which had been drafted last week. It took me over an hour! So, I promise I'll post my birth story soon. Promise.

In the meantime, London is one week old today. We've had her for seven days, and yet last night I asked Ben if he still felt like she was someone else's that we were just borrowing. Sometimes I can't remember what it was like before she was here, and others I can't believe she's ours.

The early mornings are my favorite time with her - she's alert, the sun is gently coming into her room, Ben & Lucy are still asleep and it's a special time just the two of us. Sometimes I can't bear to put her back in her crib so I let her sleep with her little naked body on my bare chest, skin to skin. This morning, realizing she was already a week old and would never be this tiny again, I cried. Great big alligator tears fell on my sweet baby's head and all I could say was "thank you" to The One who gave us this precious gift.

And then she pooped.

40 weeks: we made it!

This post requires a bit of a disclaimer. I started writing it the morning of my due date, with the intention of finishing it that afternoon after our doctor's appointment. The Lord had other plans for our sweet girl, which you'll hear all about in my birth story ... whenever that post comes. So, take this with a grain of salt, I'm trying to complete it now based on where I was a week ago today.


And if I'm being honest, it's been the most amazing week and has changed me in a way I never imagined.

Ok, we made it to the due date. Let's be honest, the due date means nothing. It's a guess, as I mentioned in my last post. I've read that only 5% of babies are born on their due date (Dr. Campbell said it was closer to 2%) and that 10% of first-time pregnancies continue until 42 weeks. Even though I am SO ready to meet this sweet little babe, I actually feel really fortunate to be treated by a practice that won't induce before 41 weeks. As much as being pregnant kind-of sucks right now, an induction turned c-section would be worse, so I'm counting my blessings. Ask me if I still feel that way in a week ;)

How are things at 40 weeks?

1. How far along? 40 weeks exactly! According to my estimated due date, anyway. Which, I should mention, changed three times in the first 9 weeks of my pregnancy, so who knows!
2. How big is baby? Still the size of a watermelon! 
3. Weight gain? I've stopped weighing myself for the past two weeks and it's a blessing, I tell ya. Eating what I want and knowing that this weight will start dropping soon enough. No sense in stressing over something so trivial at this point.
4. Stretch marks? I will say it one last time, praise the Lord none.
5. Maternity clothes? Trying to give all my maternity clothes one last wear!
6. Sleep? What a joke. Because she is starting to drop, I'm having to pee 4-5 times a night, so even sleep-aids aren't helping.
7. Best moment of last week? Ben & I spent the weekend attempting some natural induction methods, but it was actually so nice because I've given up trying to control things and enjoyed just spending the time doing whatever the two of us wanted. I woke up Saturday morning to get acupuncture done (not as relaxing as I thought it would be), did some shopping, we met a friend at the flea market, walked around the mall, had a delicious dinner with friends, went to church - it was really nice. 
8. Food cravings? Cheesesteaks - I was dying for one on Saturday and almost didn't indulge, due to our quest to induce labor with spicy foods, but I finally gave in and split one with Ben mid-afternoon while we were walking around the mall (still in an attempt to induce labor). It was delightful!
9. Symptoms? I feel like a zombie. My mind is so cloudy from lack of sleep / concentration on baby. The symptoms that bother me the most continue to be rib pain (mostly on the left side of my back) and pubic pain. And the heartburn somehow appears to be getting worse. Oh, and the burning / internal bruise feeling in the middle of my stomach hasn't gone away at all.
10. Exercise? Walking and walking and more walking. If I make it to Wednesday, I'm going to try to go to yoga - if they have it. This class has been causing me a lot of anxiety!
11. Movement? Still pretty regular, which I'm told means she's not ready to come yet. Ben played some music for her on Sunday and she apparently really loves (or really hates?) Watch the Throne (Jay-Z and Kanye West). 
12. Belly button? Um, ew. It's just so weird looking now. It keeps getting worse.
13. What I miss? I don't know if there's a point to this one anymore. I did have a half a beer the other night - terrible mother, I know.
14. Labor symptoms? A few sporadic pains that I'm told are contractions. Not much else, other than the pain / pressure in my pelvis / hips from baby dropping - hooray!
15. What I'm looking forward to? Having a baby? Yeah, that. 

Recipe: Sweet & Sour Chicken with Fried Rice

This one's a twofer! I really should type up one of these and save it for after the baby's born so y'all don't get bored without any posts from me, but this is too good not to share. Legitimately one of the best meals I've made in awhile, which is awesome because I've been less than thrilled with some of my dinners lately. Not my fault, of course, but the recipes' I've picked off Pinterest ;)

So I've been craving chinese food, but since all we did this weekend was eat out, I figured I could give it a shot in my own kitchen. Wouldn't you know it, Ben & I both loved it. The chicken is time-intensive (but not labor-intensive!) but worth it.

Sweet & Sour Chicken

Ingredients
Chicken

• 1.5 lbs boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite size pieces
• Salt & Pepper to taste
• 1 cup cornstarch
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 1/4 cup peanut oil

Sauce

• 3/4 cup sugar
• 4 tbsp ketchup
• 1/2 cup distilled white vinegar
• 1 tbsp low-sodium soy sauce
• 1 tsp garlic salt

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees
2. Lightly grease 9x13 glass pan
3. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat
4. Season chicken with salt & pepper
5. Coat chicken, first in cornstarch then egg mixture
6. Fry in oil until golden brown
   
7. Meanwhile, mix all sauce ingredients and whisk together well
   
8. Transfer chicken to glass pan
9. Cover evenly with sauce
   
10. Bake for 1 hour, flipping chicken every 15 minutes

Fried Rice

Ingredients

• 2 cups white rice (uncooked)
• 1/2 cup frozen corn
• 1/2 cup frozen peas
• 1/2 medium sweet onion, diced
• 2 tbsp peanut oil
• 2 large cloves garlic, minced
• 1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce
• 1 tbsp sesame seeds
• 2 eggs, beaten

Directions

1. Cook rice in microwave according to directions on box
2. Meanwhile, using the skillet from the sweet & sour chicken, heat oil over medium-high heat
3. Once heated, add sesame seeds to skillet
4. Add onion, garlic, corn and peas; heat until onions are slightly translucent
   
5. Reduce to medium heat
6. Push all vegetables to one side of skillet; heat eggs on other side of skillet, scrambling as they cook
   
7. Once eggs are cooked through, add rice and soy sauce
8. Reduce to low heat, stirring thoroughly until heated throughout
   

And yeah. It's good. Here's hoping the leftovers are just as delicious because it makes a huge portion!

Instagrammy goodness

Recipe: Award-Winning Oreo Cake

Yes, Award-Winning. I won an award for something I baked. Actually, I won three awards: #1 Taste, #1 Presentation and Grand Prize. I never thought I'd see the day - I am not a good baker in any sense of the word, so you can assume this recipe is somewhat easy and somewhat fool proof. A coworker hosted a bake-off in honor of his birthday (what a great idea, right?!) and this was something that I've had pinned for awhile, so here it is. I was rewarded with coworkers' compliments, Target gift cards and trophies that currently proudly adorn my desk.

My adorable trophies
And a lovely view of Cody. You're welcome

I know this goes without saying, but Pinterest directed me toward the original site.

Ingredients

• 1 box devil's food cake
• 4 squares Baker's semisweet chocolate
• 1/4 cup butter
• 8 oz cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 2 cups cool whip, thawed
• 12 oreo cookies, crushed

Now you know why I won best presentation

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Prepare cake batter as directed on box and bake in 2 round pans
3. Let cakes cool for 10 minutes in pans, 1 hour on wire cooling rack
   (or longer if you're 9 months pregnant and can't get your lazy ass off the couch)
4. Microwave chocolate and butter for 2 minutes or until butter is completely melted
5. Stir mixture until chocolate is completely melted
6. Beat cream cheese and sugar in a large bowl; fold in cool whip, then oreo cookies
7. Layer: Cake, Cream Cheese Mixture, Cake, Chocolate Glaze Mixture
8. Refrigerate until 10 minutes before serving

The best part is, if you're pregnant, you can lick the spoon of the chocolate glaze OR the cream cheese mixture. Who knew I'd miss raw cookie dough so much?!

Instagram makes everything look more delicious

39 weeks, no big deal

Yep. 39 weeks. 39 weeks and 2 days, to be exact. Not that I'm counting. Oh no, I have pretty much given up on my due date. They really shouldn't give you a "due date" - they should give you a "due week" or a "due range". Maybe even a "due month", but not a date. I'm seriously considering deleting the fun "D-DAY!!!!" announcement from my calendar for next Tuesday. A friend at work recommended I take the day off and do something fun, so I still have a reason to look forward to it, but instead I'm just going to look forward to the end of the month, and if she comes any time before then, it'll be an awesome surprise. DO YOU HEAR THAT LONDON? YOU HAVE TWO AND A HALF WEEKS!

Here's a little snapshot of how things have changed in the three days since I last posted:

1. How far along? 39 weeks 2 days. 276 days, in case you were wondering.
2. How big is baby? 19-22 inches long, 6-9 lbs. How's that for a range? But she's still my little watermelon. According to our baby bookie pool, she could be anywhere from 16.75-22.75 inches long and anywhere from 6lbs 2oz-9lbs 1oz. Hilarious.
3. Weight gain? Haven't weighed myself since the appointment, so we'll say it's still 21lbs. But my legs are swelling so it might be even more :(
4. Stretch marks? None, dear Lord please let it stay that way.
5. Maternity clothes? You know you're 9 months pregnant when even your maternity shirts are too short. Today I'm wearing a maternity shirt my MIL gave me for Christmas and it's just barely working. Also rocking my gray maternity dress pants from old navy. And a regular camisole that is really not working at all.
6. Sleep? I've been alternating nights with the Tylenol PM so I don't feel like a total zombie. I have to take two, and that allows me to sleep from about 12-6 uninterrupted (mostly). Pretty awesome, but I wake up exhausted an hour later.
7. Best moment of last week? Nothing too exciting over the past few days. We have a doctor's appointment tomorrow so maybe that will be a highlight.
8. Food cravings? No changes here. Anything and everything. No wonder she doesn't want to leave, I keep feeding her ice cream and cheeseburgers!
9. Symptoms? I feel like I rode a horse for six days straight, my pubic bone is so sore. It feels like it's bruised. Makes for a really cute waddle - yes, I think I'm getting the pregnant girl waddle (between the pubic bruising and the hips spreading). Friends say no, but I think they're just being nice. I feel waddley, especially when I first stand up. Also, she lodged her butt up against the middle of my stomach yesterday and didn't move it ALL DAY so my skin was burning. 
10. Exercise? No yoga AGAIN this week, so I've been continuing doing some stretching, squats and walking on my own. Hopefully I will be able to join in next week's class!
11. Movement? Her movement is continuing to slow, especially during the day. Her favorite time is when I get home from work and sit on the couch - party in the belly! 
12. Belly button? Just a sad state of affairs these days.
13. What I miss? Everything. But I will say, I am so glad I haven't had to stop wearing my wedding rings. I would miss them like crazy! Even though I'm starting to see some swelling in my legs now and there's definitely internal swelling in my wrists and feet, the rings still fit every morning.
14. Labor symptoms? Ben thinks she's starting to drop but I think it's just that my stomach has no more room to grow up, so it's growing straight out. Other than the additional pelvic pressure / pain, not much to report here.
15. What I'm looking forward to? Another quiet weekend, maybe some pool time, and hopefully a positive doctor's appointment tomorrow. And every time I see Ben playing on the floor with Lucy, or singing to me in the mornings, I get SO excited to see him with his little girl. They're going to have such a special bond.

you can't exactly tell here,
but I was having a really good hair day this morning

Recipe: Breakfast Smoothie

I have no photos, but this morning's smoothie was too delicious and filling not to share. I've been having a lot of smoothies lately, but my doctor advised I might be getting too much sugar / not enough protein in the mornings so I modified and, after a little experimentation, came up with this awesomeness. The best part about smoothies, of course, is that you can pretty much throw in whatever you want / have in the blender and it'll be delightful.

This is enough for two good-size smoothies, because I'm a good wife and I make my husband breakfast. All right, if we're being honest, I make myself breakfast and double it for my husband. Whatever, details.

Ingredients

• 2 bananas
• 1/4 cup carnation instant breakfast, chocolate
  (you could use cocoa powder if you don't have carnation instant breakfast)
• 1/4 cup 1% milk
• Two handfuls of ice cubes (approximately 8-10 ice cubes)
• 1/4 cup peanut butter

Ta-da! I've also made the same type without peanut butter, but a little protein in the morning is good for everyone, not just preggers. You could also probably opt out of the chocolate altogether if you don't care for chocolate (what's wrong with you?!).

38 weeks ... just a little late

It's June, y'all. Do you know what that means? BABY MONTH. On June 1, the first thing Ben said to me was "Do you know what today is?" (to which I replied "June 1st", to which he replied "We're going to have a baby this month!"). My husband is so cute. And while I thought I would be super excited about entering baby month, it has been an emotional roller coaster (as you've seen). Here we are, almost half-way through the month now - sorry I'm a slacker - and it's looking like we'll probably make it through a few more weeks before she arrives. As hard as it was to accept that, I'm honestly good with it now. She's going to come when she's ready, and there's nothing I can do to control it. Honestly, if you'd asked me a week ago if I wanted to be induced, I would've jumped up and raised both hands, "Yes! Please God, Yes, End this misery!" But really, I so badly want the excitement of going into labor, of looking at Ben and knowing we're just hours away from meeting our daughter, of calling my mom and saying "it's time". And the Lord knows the desires of my heart, and He knows what's best for us, and I genuinely believe that's what He's preparing for us. At least that's what I'm believing this week :)

So what is it like to be 38 (almost 39, now) weeks pregnant?

1. How far along? 38 weeks 6 days (sorry sorry sorry!)
2. How big is baby? According to What to Expect, she's still the size of a watermelon, she's still anywhere from 19-22 inches long, and she's now likely at least 7lbs. She's still measuring about a week behind, but my doctor said it's not uncommon for someone my height to "hide" a big baby, and given how big Ben & I were, I think she'll be a healthy size whenever she comes

   

   ok, this is just cute

3. Weight gain? 21 lbs. The doctor is not thrilled with how quickly I'm gaining now but, again, not much I can do to change it. Except walk it out.
   
4. Stretch marks? None. Holding strong! I am peeling a little bit on my belly, I think the skin is so stretched that it's giving up. Me too, belly skin, me too.
5. Maternity Clothes? Today, wearing an Old Navy maternity tank that Kelly bought me for my baby shower with an Old Navy skirt that I've had forever. Yoga waist bands are key. I'm still managing to find pieces of my regular wardrobe that I can adapt for maternity.
6. Sleep? Praise the Lord, my doctor said I could take Tylenol PM... Right about the time that I started crying in her office. So last night I took two and slept like a rock. I am getting more and more congested, which makes sleeping difficult for Ben. But I slept from about 11:30 last night until around 6am and it was all sorts of glorious.
7. Best moment of last week? The doctor's appointment this week was much more positive. She answered all of my questions, gave us a quick u/s to confirm baby is head down, and was super understanding and encouraging. AND I got a prenatal massage on Saturday which was wonderful - thanks to my dear friend Tressa who sent me a spa gift card.
8. Food cravings? No real cravings of late, just eating everything. And can't get enough to drink! Flavored sparkling water is my lifeline.
9. Symptoms? My hips are starting to spread, which means more pain / pressure through the pelvic region. In addition to all the normal fun stuff (ribs burning, reflux, etc)
10. Exercise? No yoga this last week :( It was the week between sessions. I'm hoping it picks back up this week so I can get in a few sessions before she comes. I have been doing some squats, wall-sits and yoga poses on my own, in addition to walking in the evenings with Ben & Lucy. I overdid the wall-sits last night so I'm walking with a bit of a waddle today.
11. Movement? Her movement is more slow and fluid, but every so often I get a quick jab to the ribs or bladder and it completely catches me off guard. She is definitely running out of room - guess what, little girl, there's a solution to that ... COME OUT! You'll have all the room you need! (until I swaddle her in a baby straight jacket)
12. Belly button? No change, still gross. Still rocking a bikini at the pool though - I even got a "WOAH" from a guy this wknd. It was all I could do not to punch him. I try to cover up the belly button with my belly band if it shows through shirts too badly.
13. What I miss? Sushi and a cold beer, this week.
14. Labor signs? Other than my pelvis opening up a little, no labor signs. *sigh*
15. What I'm looking forward to? I think I've decided that we'll induce on 6/29 if she doesn't come on her own before that, so I'm looking forward to the end of the month and knowing that we'll get to see her sweet little face in about two weeks.

wooooooah belly

Letters to London: Sacrifice

Baby girl,

I should be writing my 38 week post (which I started yesterday, never got to, and now am too exhausted to write right now), but instead I'm writing this to you. Makes sense, I suppose, to prioritize a letter to my daughter over of a mundane weekly update. Pretty soon, I'll be prioritizing you over just about everything else!

As I will probably remind you, time and time again, you are the biggest blessing of our lives - one that we prayed many times over. But carrying you around for nine months has been no picnic, my friend. In fact, pregnancy has been much harder than I anticipated!

I knew that, what with my weak stomach, morning sickness would be tough, and likely something that would hit me hard ... and it did. I have a hard time swallowing the idea of going through those 2-3 months of vomiting again, but I think it's almost a blessing that no one knows you're going through the first trimester hell, because you have to keep going with your normal life to keep up the secret. And it's so exciting that some of that energy carries you through.

What I didn't anticipate was how hard this last trimester would be! More accurately, the last month or two. I found my "pregnancy stride" about midway through the second trimester, somewhere around the time that we found out you were a girl & picked your name, and shortly thereafter both started feeling you move. I wouldn't say I was enjoying pregnancy, but it wasn't bad!

That only lasted until halfway through the third trimester or so, when I started to get really uncomfortable. I've been carrying so high that the rib pain has been downright awful - I imagine it's you doing calf presses on them, trying to escape. No matter how many times I tell you it's the wrong way out, you haven't given it up yet or tried to start digging yourself out through the southern exit. Go towards the light! The rib pain turned into mid-back pain and my reflux has gotten so bad that I can't lay down. That's right, I sleep sitting straight up, and have even taken to doing so on the couch. Fun times! Yoga classes, chiropractor appointments, Pepcid AC, prenatal massages, walking, stretching ... I've tried everything and the pain and discomfort just keeps getting worse. I'm now dealing with shortness of breath, numbness in my arms and legs, lightheaded-ness, dizziness, nausea and vomiting, vaginal cramping, hip pain and stiffness. I'm gonna be honest, little one, you're kicking my butt over here!

I didn't intend for this to be a great big whine. What I intended this to be was a confession of how hard this is. I want you to know that last night, I finally lost it. For no reason, and for every reason, I broke down and sobbed great big alligator tears for thirty minutes straight. Your poor dad kept asking what was wrong, and when I didn't know, it only made me cry harder. And then this morning I cried on the phone with Gigi. And twice at work. And once tonight. I'm so physically and emotionally exhausted, I just can't control myself anymore. This weepy mess is NOT who your mama is!

And while I am so anxious to meet you and ready to stop being pregnant, I actually think most of these tears are disappointment and fear. Disappointment in myself, that I wasn't able to enjoy pregnancy more. That I find myself sometimes wishing it away. That I'm not able to better handle all of this. Fear that, if the last month of pregnancy is this hard on me, I'll never be able to make it through the labor experience I want for us. And that I'll never be able to survive the first few sleep-deprived weeks that you're here.

But I'm trying to cling to something that another woman said to me in my emotional state. This is the beginning of the sacrifice we, as mothers, make for our children. And I CAN do it, and I WILL do it, and one way or another you're going to be here in less than four weeks. Despite the fact that the days (oh who am I kidding - hours!) are crawling by now, it will be here before I know it.

And if there's one thing I do know, it's that meeting you will be worth all of this and anything else I could've possibly ever gone through to get here. Because you are our precious miracle, our gift from God. You were His first and He chose your dad and me to parent you. He wouldn't have chosen me as your mother if He didn't know I could get through this, so I'm going to try to keep trusting Him to carry me to that finish line.

But I swear, the first time you break curfew, I'll remind you of the pain I endured for you and give you the biggest guilt trip for putting your poor mother through all this! Just kidding ... all right, I'm probably not.

Are you ready yet? Because I sure am!
-Mom

The Nursery

The nursery has been a work-in-progress for about 5 months. We hemmed and hawed over which room to convert (the guest room or the Steelers room) and when Ben finally agreed that the Steelers room made the most sense, I wasn't about to argue. He began the (slow) process of cleaning it out sometime shortly after the holidays, and my mom & Christian (AKA "Gigi" and "Sweetie") came down to paint in early February. I knew I wanted gray walls regardless of the gender, and we decided on Voyage by Valspar. It actually ended up a bit blue for my liking, but once the furniture went in, I was good with it.

In the meantime, we've been slowly purchasing her furniture (ouch!) and putting things together ... and then completely rearranging them because my pregnancy hormones make me indecisive.

The Nursery, Before:

I know what you're thinking - why wouldn't you just leave it as is? What baby WOULDN'T want this room? (Yes, my husband actually said those things)

I'd love to use this post to tell you about all the great crafts I did for her room, or the designs I used that were inspired by Pinterest, but honestly ... I got pretty lazy. I guess there's still time, and I'm going to need something to keep my mind occupied for the next few weeks!

The Nursery, During:

We did a few renovation projects (besides just the paint). We bought her crib (very similar to this one) from a consignment sale, so Ben touched it up before putting it together with his dad. I forced asked Ben to paint the closet, which he then took to the next level by adding an additional bar and shelf - so grateful for all that space!

After several failed attempts at ordering cute bedding sets online, I finally gave up and ordered plain white separates and bought some pink patterned sheets at Target. Just a head's up:

• Tadpoles Pink Gingham is a dusty pink, not baby pink
• Pottery Barn Kids Dahlia is fuschia and taupe, not lavender and gray
• Tadpoles Pink Tulle is lavender, not baby pink
• Land of Nod Pink With a Flourish is salmon, not baby pink

I finally landed on Tadpoles White Tulle curtain and crib skirt, Super Soft Dot Crib Bumper from Carter's and a variety of Circo pink crib sheets (stripe is pictured, and we got the gingham and the lattice)


As you might remember, the dresser search was one of my greatest pregnancy woes, but I am so pleased with what we finally settled on. The pink gingham knobs Ben put on (to match the pink gingham curtain rod finials and pull-back) are some of my favorite touches! We decided that, given the small space of the nursery, it made sense to use the dresser as a changing table rather than having two pieces of furniture, so we added a changing pad (passed down from Sloan) and we're good to go!

The "final" touches were all the wall-hangings. Actually, that's not true, the final touch will be the rocker recliner that is scheduled to arrive about a week after her due date (oops! #parentfail). But before that, and before putting together the nightstand (that I decided we needed after rearranging the room ... yes, I moved a 150lb dresser at 8 months pregnant!), we needed to hang all the beautiful wall-hangings. The letters were something I've wanted forever, but Ben was very particular about the font, so I found a custom site where he could order something to his liking and I painted them white and attached pink ribbon with a glue gun. The distressed wood sign came from "Aunt Kiki" (my best friend Kelly) with one of my favorite verses. She was there for me during the devastation from my ectopic pregnancy last year and knows very well how much this little one means to us - and to her! It was actually ordered before we found out we were having a girl - that's how sure she was that she was going to have a niece. The prints actually started as a contest that I won from a friend's blog several months back. I contacted the etsy vendor and asked if we could wait until we had picked nursery decor, and she gave us a wonderful deal on the additional custom prints so we could do a set of three.


The Nursery, After:
I'm so pleased with the way it all came out. It is such a calming feeling to walk in there and just "be" - anticipating the precious girl that will soon inhabit those walls. The room is just as much for me as it is for her at this point, and I feel very serene when I walk in. And it's feminine without being too girly, young without being too babyish, and easily convertible to a guest room (if we sell) or another baby's room (if we don't sell) should the time come.

the view walking in

the view from where the chair will go

Lucy seems to enjoy it too - we've left the door open so she can get used to the changes and she has yet to mess with all of our sweet girl's toys - I'll take that as a win!